So riddled with sadness and despair. I close my eyes. Again today I’ve been running away from the reality. My small tired eyes are looking for light and a future worth living in. Using all my time searching for a world that’s worth creating for myself. Afraid of what might happen if I don’t. It’s the meaningless meaning with life that kills me the most. It is the endless search for the unknown which makes my demons to flourish in the worst thinkable way. It turns flames to my melankoni and brings hopelessness to my soul. I’m stuck in my own life without light from the outside.